In Brahmin and Chhetri culture, women’s menstrual period is looked upon as sinful and physically squalid. Especially the first three days of the period, women are said to be contaminated and they are kept away from their ordinary routine as if they’re untouchable. They’re not allowed to enter the kitchen and touch food, are not permitted to prepare and fix meals; or worship god at a temple. What makes things even worse is when they’re shun even from doing personal chores such as combing their hair or using a beauty kit if they desire to attend any external function.
Research in Dangerous Wives and Sacred Sisters, Social and Symbolic Roles of High-caste Women in Nepal, carried out by Lynn Bennett on 1983 delves into traditional practices and their impact. Her research paper further explains that village women have no knowledge on ovulation and its connection with their period of fertility. Instead, they associate the fertile period directly with menstrual blood.
It has been almost three decades since the research was carried out and Nepal’s developmental landscape has made significant improvements over the years, the aforementioned predicament of rural women, however, continue to plague the society in general, and women in particular. When a woman has to live separately from other family members with a designated bed, utensils and few clothing for a period of three days, where people follow dismal sanitation and hygiene practices with no access to electricity, safe water and medical care, one can only imagine how hazardous her health can be. Further, the irony is that such practices are said to be exercised so as to avoid from committing sin and to please god.
A lass in her mid-teens from a remote village of Arghakhanchi shares her melancholic experiences during her first menstruation period. With limited utensils, clothes and toiletries at her disposal, she was given fixed meals two times a day delivered to the cowshed by another female member of the family. She was barred from seeing male members of the household for 10 straight days with a dogma that she would transmit evils to them. Much has been talked about and done over the years—proclaimed to be women empowerment— but hers is an example of denial and rejection that speaks volumes of what we do in practice in inhibiting the development and growth of women in all walks of life.
The research work done by Bennett is a sophisticated read and of course, an extensively studied topic of paramount importance especially in Nepali culture. Researchers, academics and anthropologists have historically used the emic or etic approach to understand the real meaning of culture. Any ongoing research and study, however, should be directed towards addressing the problem rather than just to embrace the work of humanities and social sciences. Efforts, any and all, should continue to bring positive changes to society without hurting and humiliating cultural cohesion.
As I flip through Bennett’s book, I grow restless just to notice the vast chasm between rural villages and urban cities. Here in these thousands of villages, innocent women have been suffering from age-old evil practices like discrimination at the time of menstruation when they need family support, love and good care.
Funds and policies aimed at addressing the problems are solely focused on urban women in the name of grandeur receptions, sophisticated workshops and lavish conferences. What policies!
When I visit villages in various districts in course of my official work, I find it deplorable talking about the menstruation period—still, women are termed as ‘polluted’ during this time, living three days each month away from the care and comfort of family. In contrary, when I go to the municipalities and Kathmandu, the menstruation period is no more taboo even to those who have temporarily moved to these cities for study or work. But, the menstruation time actually bears cardinal importance in terms of health, hygiene and sanitation of women, no matter where they live. Urbanites may not even believe that a woman living in the village still has to live separately in a cowshed during the menstruation period.
I asked a young single lady who hails from a small village of western Nepal and has been living in Kathmandu for the last five years about how she manages to live during her menstruation period. she quickly replied, saying that she strongly follows the cultural practice when she home in the village, but when in Kathmandu, she has rooted out such practice to oblivion. The paradox here shows that the evil practices that endanger the health of human being are followed only in the villages and can only be attributed to lack of education, awareness and information.
Democracy has given rights to the people, irrespective of location. Since the dawn of democracy and multiparty system in the nation, we have witnessed several and substantial changes, not only in national development, but also in cultural dynamics. Analysis of culture, from other countries enriches the knowledge on imbalance of rights, power and the decision making process among a wide range of issues in Nepal. Nonetheless, the very minimal has been accomplished when it comes to education and empowerment of rural women. A broadened interpretation of culture, meticulous analysis of what is right and what is wrong, with the sincere effort to empower Nepali women in different walks of life has to be our priority—both at the government and non-government levels.
As women in the villages continue to live an arduous life during menstruation and are seen as despicable, while their urban counterparts live a regular life, it brings to question where our developments efforts are directed to. It is lucid and clear for the readers to decipher what the reason is, that makes the same culture so different in two places. It is obvious, where and why the workshops, education, training and interactions need to be concentrated.
Bhandari has a Masters degree in Anthropology
Posted on: 2011-08-07 09:13
Kathmandu Post link-
http://www.ekantipur.com/the-kathmandu-post/2011/08/06/oped/menstruation-paradox/224891.html
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Technology happy farmers
JUL 26 – Amrit Bhandari
Information technology has profoundly changed the way we live our everyday lives. While the prudent use of information and communication technology has definitely worked for the benefit of people who have easy access to it, such technology, if used wisely can also help disadvantaged and underserved communities. It can especially help grass root farmers increase their income and live a better quality of life. The extension of mobile phone services to remote parts of Nepal is benefiting poor farmers by ameliorating their access to the marketplace and other basic services. One such example is of farmers in Kailali District acquiring everyday prices on agriculture produce through their mobile and land lines phones. The benefit from this technology was made possible by the financial support of the European Union and operational support of Practical Action in partnership with the local Chamber of Commerce in Kailali.
“Gone are the days when I would aggrieve if cauliflowers and onions would fetch the right price that reflected my hard work, time and cost invested, from plantation to harvesting.” Suwas Devi Chaudhari of Joshipur, Kailali explains. She recalls her past: “We were always constantly manipulated by the wholesalers who possessed both information and purchasing power and we had to rely on the fake information about the prices of our vegetables.” The chamber of commerce, Kailali has managed to provide information on market prices of vegetable in the areas, thanks to development in information technology. Dilli Raj Sharma, Executive Director of Chamber of Commerce, Kailali says,” a committee formed to study the market prices goes to the major fresh produce markets and records the actual prices of vegetables and other staple items.” The prices are entered into the computer’s software and it provides the average prices automatically linked with the telecom network. The updated price information is then available in the mobile devices of farmers with a single dial to 1618. This is how farmers get the most recent information on the market prices of their vegetables produces and keep abreast of changes in market dynamics, without having to worry about price manipulation mechanism created by middlemen and wholesalers.
People from Kailali’s Dhangadhi and Attariya’s market centre can be cognizant of the wholesale and retail price of their produces through a single dial from their mobile and landline phones. The service has truly empowered farmers while instilling confidence and pride in their hard work and dedication, to doing something meaningful in their own land instead of choosing to fly abroad for substandard and hazardous work.
When Suhas Devi learns from her mobile phone that the market price of vegetables is on an upward trend, she wastes no time in collecting them from her fields and rushing to the nearby marketplace. Sometimes, wholesalers come at her doorsteps to buy vegetables. Amar Chaudhari, a farmer from Joshipur, Kailali says,” We don’t sell our vegetables without knowing the actual market price. First we dial 1618 and learn about today’s price of each vegetable and sell to the traders accordingly.” Before the mobile technology which enabled market price information became available, the traders would get more profit out of the farmer’s produce by misrepresenting the price information. The traders could benefit in the absence of this technology as they could buy vegetables at a substantially lower price than the market price.
Amar further says,” the traders used to fix the market prices with higher margins compared to the market rates and we had to believe them. For a long time,
we were reliant on their prices and we sold our vegetables for the price they demanded.” Amar recalls,” the traders used to make nearly one hundred per cent margins, while at times the profit margins soared to a whopping 200 per cent. Many can only repent for what they had to suffer; the newly introduced mobile enabled service has brought fresh smiles to an entire farmer community raising their income level and lifestyle to a new height. For observers, the farmers’ content seems to be testament of justice brought about by technology.
Rameswor Bohora, chairman of Agriculture Produces Seller Regional Market Committee, Attariya reports, “this service has helped mainly the farmers. Nonetheless, such information is not limited to them. A single phone call can provide the price details of vegetables to anyone.” The vegetable produces of Kailali have markets in Doti, Dadeldhura, Dipayel, Baitadi, Kohalpur, Surkhet and Nepalgunj.
It is estimated that fresh produces of vegetables worth of Nrs. 1,200,000.00 are traded daily in the two main markets of Kailali alone. Based on the information provided by the Chamber of Commerce there, half of the vegetables available in the market are produced in Nepal. The service has allowed the farmers to increase their income by 10 to 12 per cent, just from their produce. Recent data show that farmers in Kailali alone generate about Nrs. 100,000.00 in revenue from the daily sale of fresh produce. The availability of the market price at their fingertips has allowed farmers to make informed decisions whether to sell short or hold for the prices to go up. The service has bridged the gaps of information on market prices between traders and farmers. If similar services are made available across the country, thousands of farmers will be able to increase their income by securing right and just prices for their offerings
The services established in Kailali district simply make market price information easier to obtain to poor farmers. This shows that the appropriate use of technology can bring changes in poor communities. The right to information and in this instance, information being the market price, is an example that there are many ways we can reap the benefits of technology.
The writer works at Practical Action Nepal Office.
abamritofficial@gmail.com
Published in Kathmandu Post on 26 July 2011- Link - http://www.ekantipur.com/the-kathmandu-post/2011/07/25/oped/technology-happy-farmers/224430.html
Information technology has profoundly changed the way we live our everyday lives. While the prudent use of information and communication technology has definitely worked for the benefit of people who have easy access to it, such technology, if used wisely can also help disadvantaged and underserved communities. It can especially help grass root farmers increase their income and live a better quality of life. The extension of mobile phone services to remote parts of Nepal is benefiting poor farmers by ameliorating their access to the marketplace and other basic services. One such example is of farmers in Kailali District acquiring everyday prices on agriculture produce through their mobile and land lines phones. The benefit from this technology was made possible by the financial support of the European Union and operational support of Practical Action in partnership with the local Chamber of Commerce in Kailali.
“Gone are the days when I would aggrieve if cauliflowers and onions would fetch the right price that reflected my hard work, time and cost invested, from plantation to harvesting.” Suwas Devi Chaudhari of Joshipur, Kailali explains. She recalls her past: “We were always constantly manipulated by the wholesalers who possessed both information and purchasing power and we had to rely on the fake information about the prices of our vegetables.” The chamber of commerce, Kailali has managed to provide information on market prices of vegetable in the areas, thanks to development in information technology. Dilli Raj Sharma, Executive Director of Chamber of Commerce, Kailali says,” a committee formed to study the market prices goes to the major fresh produce markets and records the actual prices of vegetables and other staple items.” The prices are entered into the computer’s software and it provides the average prices automatically linked with the telecom network. The updated price information is then available in the mobile devices of farmers with a single dial to 1618. This is how farmers get the most recent information on the market prices of their vegetables produces and keep abreast of changes in market dynamics, without having to worry about price manipulation mechanism created by middlemen and wholesalers.
People from Kailali’s Dhangadhi and Attariya’s market centre can be cognizant of the wholesale and retail price of their produces through a single dial from their mobile and landline phones. The service has truly empowered farmers while instilling confidence and pride in their hard work and dedication, to doing something meaningful in their own land instead of choosing to fly abroad for substandard and hazardous work.
When Suhas Devi learns from her mobile phone that the market price of vegetables is on an upward trend, she wastes no time in collecting them from her fields and rushing to the nearby marketplace. Sometimes, wholesalers come at her doorsteps to buy vegetables. Amar Chaudhari, a farmer from Joshipur, Kailali says,” We don’t sell our vegetables without knowing the actual market price. First we dial 1618 and learn about today’s price of each vegetable and sell to the traders accordingly.” Before the mobile technology which enabled market price information became available, the traders would get more profit out of the farmer’s produce by misrepresenting the price information. The traders could benefit in the absence of this technology as they could buy vegetables at a substantially lower price than the market price.
Amar further says,” the traders used to fix the market prices with higher margins compared to the market rates and we had to believe them. For a long time,
we were reliant on their prices and we sold our vegetables for the price they demanded.” Amar recalls,” the traders used to make nearly one hundred per cent margins, while at times the profit margins soared to a whopping 200 per cent. Many can only repent for what they had to suffer; the newly introduced mobile enabled service has brought fresh smiles to an entire farmer community raising their income level and lifestyle to a new height. For observers, the farmers’ content seems to be testament of justice brought about by technology.
Rameswor Bohora, chairman of Agriculture Produces Seller Regional Market Committee, Attariya reports, “this service has helped mainly the farmers. Nonetheless, such information is not limited to them. A single phone call can provide the price details of vegetables to anyone.” The vegetable produces of Kailali have markets in Doti, Dadeldhura, Dipayel, Baitadi, Kohalpur, Surkhet and Nepalgunj.
It is estimated that fresh produces of vegetables worth of Nrs. 1,200,000.00 are traded daily in the two main markets of Kailali alone. Based on the information provided by the Chamber of Commerce there, half of the vegetables available in the market are produced in Nepal. The service has allowed the farmers to increase their income by 10 to 12 per cent, just from their produce. Recent data show that farmers in Kailali alone generate about Nrs. 100,000.00 in revenue from the daily sale of fresh produce. The availability of the market price at their fingertips has allowed farmers to make informed decisions whether to sell short or hold for the prices to go up. The service has bridged the gaps of information on market prices between traders and farmers. If similar services are made available across the country, thousands of farmers will be able to increase their income by securing right and just prices for their offerings
The services established in Kailali district simply make market price information easier to obtain to poor farmers. This shows that the appropriate use of technology can bring changes in poor communities. The right to information and in this instance, information being the market price, is an example that there are many ways we can reap the benefits of technology.
The writer works at Practical Action Nepal Office.
abamritofficial@gmail.com
Published in Kathmandu Post on 26 July 2011- Link - http://www.ekantipur.com/the-kathmandu-post/2011/07/25/oped/technology-happy-farmers/224430.html
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Information for all
JUL 16 - 2011, Published in Kathmandu Post
Saghata, a sub-district under Gaibandh district, is located 300 km away in the north-west from the capital of Bangladesh. There, a project called Rural Information Programme, has taken off with great success. Based on the belief that knowledge and awareness can change the lives of the rural poor for the better, the project trains locals to act as information resources for villages. When I visited the district in March, I was excited to find how effective this innovative concept for supporting the rural poor was.
The programme also provides local youths with valuable opportunities for work and education through their training. Implemented in 60 villages, youths are trained in information on general human health, agriculture, livestock, fishery, human rights, women rights, and rights to information. Though anyone can work for the programme, ladies are encouraged to do so more since it is harder for men to talk and work with women.
The trained ladies mainly address the problems of youth, children, farmers, women and women groups, with the information they received in training. The ladies are provided with bicycles, umbrellas, mini laptop computers, modem for internet connection, cameras, printers, scales, a machine to test blood sugar, mobile etc. And in case the ladies should have to leave the programme or are not around, they train family members so they can quickly respond to any problems that arise in their absence.
Everyday, after their campus time the ladies pack all their equipment in their bags and head over to the communities on their bicycles. They give audio and video demonstrations on their laptops on information relating to problems villagers are facing. They check villagers’ blood pressure and if needed, refer them to the nearby hospital. Sometimes they coordinate with the doctors from their mobile phones and even register the patients at the hospital.
With emerging information and communication technology, the info-ladies support thousands of poor people living in the remote villages of Bangladesh. “I find many people suffering from many diseases,” Sathi Aktar , an info-lady, says, “they are often suffering from high blood pressure or symptoms of excessive sugar, which are very treatable but most of the time they don’t know about these diseases and even if they do, there are no good treatment services in the village. I am happy that we can at least offer our services to them and maybe even save their lives.”
These ladies also supply communities with information on agriculture, livestock and fisheries. “We go from village to village and ask people about their problems on agriculture, livestock and fisheries and provide the information we have. If we find the problem cannot be solved with our information, we instantly refer them to the concerned authorities,” Aktar says.
Using the internet modem they received, the ladies even provide villagers with the opportunity to talk with relatives working abroad. They charge a minimum amount for the service but Sima Aktar, another info-lady, says they also offer many services without charge.
In the preliminary phase of the programme, no one believed that the ladies could support the communities but nowadays, the ladies are becoming leaders in the communities. The communities have come to greatly appreciate their support and skills and welcome their services. Everyone knows the info-ladies in the villages. Whenever the villagers face any problems they immediately dial the info-ladies’ mobile numbers, who then come to the community with any needed equipment.
I had the opportunity to meet with six info-ladies and I was greatly impressed by the courage, inspiration and dedication to supporting the communities that they displayed. I pictured communities in Nepal and how such an approach could really help them as well. If implemented in Nepal in communities of similar socio-economic background to those being serviced in Bangladesh, so many could benefit. There are many communities in Nepal where vegetable farming, livestock, and fisheries can be main sources of income however, due to lack of knowledge; they are languishing with traditional approaches. The knowledge and skills info-ladies provide could change lives in Nepal.
abamritofficial@gmail.com
Link - http://www.ekantipur.com/the-kathmandu-post/2011/07/16/oped/information-for-all/224083.html
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
भ्यालेन्टाइन डेको प्रतीक्षा
काठमाडौ, माघ २८ -
अमृत भण्डारी
भ्यालेन्टाइन डे आउनुभन्दा एक महिना पहिले नै बुटवलका आशिस अधिकारीले आफूलाई मनपर्ने केटीलाई कसरी प्रस्ताव राख्ने भन्ने बारेमा निकै सोचे । साथीलाई सोधे । धेरै साथीले उनलाई मोबाइलबाट एसएमएस गरेर केटीको भावना बुझ्न सल्लाह दिए । तर उनले आँट गर्न सकेनन् । अन्ततः एक वर्षदेखि मनपराउने केटीलाई १४ फेब्रुअरीमै एसएमएस गर्ने र प्रस्ताव राख्ने मुडमा छन् उनी । हुन त उनीसँग केटीको इमेल ठेगाना पनि छ । तर उनलाई एक वर्षदेखि मनपराउने केटीलाई प्रस्ताव राख्दा सम्बन्ध बिग्रन सक्ने डर पनि छ । त्यसैले उनले न इमेल नै पठाउन सके, नत एसएमएस गर्नसके । भन्छन्- "यसो कुरा गर्दा त उसले पनि मलाई मनपराउँछे जस्तो लागेको छ, तर शतप्रतिशत विश्वस्त छैन । त्यसैले कम्तीमा भ्यालेन्टाइन डेका दिन प्रस्ताव राख्दा ऊ रिसाउने छैन भन्ने लागेको छ ।"
एसएमएस, इमेलबाट सम्पर्क गरी पहिले मनसाय बुझेर प्रेम प्रस्ताव गर्ने प्रचलन अहिले बढेर गएको छ । तर जति केटाहरू भ्यालेन्टाइन र प्रेमका बारेमा खुल्ने गरेका छन्, त्यति केटीहरु खुल्नसकेका छैनन् । यद्यपि केही वर्ष पहिलेका तुलनामा भने उनीहरू पनि विस्तारै खुल्दैछन् । केही वर्ष अगाडिसम्म सहरमा मात्र केन्दि्रत भ्यालेन्टाइन डेको संस्कृति अहिले गाउँ-गाउँमा पनि पुगेको छ । गाउँका युवायुवती पनि प्रेम प्रस्तावका लागि भ्यालेन्टाइन डेकै प्रतीक्षामा बसेको पाइन्छ ।
अर्घाखाँची वाङ्गलाका युवराज भण्डारी भन्छन्-मायाप्रेम गर्न नै जानिएन । तर सबै साथीले भ्यालेन्टाइन डेका दिनमा प्रस्ताव राख्न उपहार किन्ने, कार्ड खोज्दै हिँड्दा भने मलाई रमाइलो नै लाग्छ । वास्तवमा भ्यालेन्टाइन डे विवाह गरेका र नगरेका दुवैका लागि उत्तिकै महत्वपूर्ण बन्दै गएको छ । विवाहितहरूका लागि पनि उक्त दिनमा घुम्न जाने, माया साटासाट गर्ने अवसर बनेको छ भने प्रेम गर्नेका लागि त झन् प्रेमलाई गाढा र दिगो राख्नका लागि यो दिनलाई महत्वपूर्ण मान्न थालिएको छ । यसैगरी विवाह र प्रेममा नपरेकाका लागि नयाँ सम्बन्ध विस्तार गर्न, प्रेममा बाँधिन, मनपरेकालाई प्रस्ताव राख्न यस दिनले अवसर प्रदान गरेको छ ।
युवायुवतीले विदेसी संस्कृतिलाई रमाइलोका लागि निसंकोच अपनाउने लचकता देखाउँछन् । विश्वव्यापीकरणको युगमा संस्कृति पनि कुनै देश, क्षेत्र वा समुदायमा सीमित रहेको छैन । वास्तवमा भ्यालेन्टाइन डे मनाउने चलनले मायाप्रेम र भावनात्मक सम्बन्धको दायरालाई भूगोलले पनि सीमित राख्न सक्दैन भन्ने सन्देश पनि दिएको छ । विश्वव्यापीकरणसँगै विभिन्न देशमा मनाइने परम्परा र त्यससँग जोडिएका विषयवस्तुलाई एक ठाउँबाट अर्कोमा पुर्याउनका लागि प्रविधिको विकासले पनि सहयोग गरेको छ ।
प्रविधिले मायाप्रेमको परम्परागत प्रक्रियालाई समेत परिवर्तन गरेको छ । गाउँ-गाउँमा बाटोमा ढुकेर आफूलाई मनपर्ने साथीलाई लेखेको चिठी दिने, हुलाकबाट चिठी पठाउने र हप्तादिनसम्म उसको प्रतीक्षामा बस्ने दिनलाई सञ्चार र प्रविधिको विकासले कायापलट नै गरिदिएको छ । खल्तीमा राखेको मोबाइलबाट एक मिनटमै सन्देश प्रवाह हुने र सोधिएको प्रश्नका बारेमा तुरुन्तै जवाफ आउने भएकाले युवायुवतीका लागि प्रतीक्षामा बस्नु नपर्ने भएको छ । आफूलाई मनपरेको साथीलाई फेसबुकमा हेर्न पाइने उसको प्रोफाइलबाट उसका बारेमा जानकारी लिन पाइने साथै नचिनेको मानिसलाई पनि साथी बनाउन पाइनाले धेरै युवायुवतीका लागि प्रेम गर्न सहज भएको छ । सञ्चारले दिएको यति धेरै सुविधाको उचित फाइदा लिनु त स्वाभाविक नै हो । तर यसबाट विभिन्न किसिमका अपराध पनि भइरहेकोले युवायुवती बढी चनाखो हुनु जरुरी छ । प्रविधिलाई विवेकशील भएर अपनाउन जानेमा यसले फाइदा नै दिन्छ । तर यसको अनुचित उपयोगले अपराध बढ्न सक्छ भन्नेमा युवायुवती सजक हुनुपर्छ ।
वास्तवमा प्रेम आत्माभित्रको एक अनुभव हो । यसले मानिसको जीवनमा धेरै किसिमका परिवर्तन ल्याउन सक्छ । प्रेममा परेका मानिसका लागि सबै कुरा सम्भव भएको महसुस हुन्छ । प्रेमलाई पनि परिपक्व भएर हेर्न र सम्हाल्नसकेमा यसबाट मानिसले धेरै किसिमका फाइदा लिनसक्छ । त्यसका लागि हाम्रो सामाजिक परिवेश, संस्कृति तथा यससँग सम्बन्धित विषयमा व्यक्ति बढी नै चनाखो हुन जरुरी छ । प्रेम प्रस्ताव राख्दाका लागि एक रोमान्टिक क्षण हुनसक्छ, तर प्रेमका लागि गरिने वाचा तथा कसमलाई व्यवहारमा उतार्न निकै कठिन हुने गर्छ । प्रेम गर्नका लागि गरिने अव्यावहारिक वाचा तथा कसमले फक्रिँदो प्रेम बीचमै ओइलाउन सक्छ ।
भावनामा डुबेर गरिने वाचाको असर जीवनभर नकारात्मक पर्न सक्छ । बुझ्नुपर्ने कुरा के हो भने प्रेमी-प्रेमिका भएपछि प्रेमलाई विवाहमा परिवर्तन गर्नका लागि एकआपसका बारेमा राम्रोसँग बुझ्नुपर्छ । यसका लागि आफ्ना बारेमा झूट कुरा गरेर प्रेमको विकास गर्नु घातक हुनेछ । यसरी विकसित भएको प्रेमले अन्ततः ठूलो समस्या उत्पन्न गर्न सक्छ । र कालान्तरमा एकले अर्कोलाई आरोप लगाउने, झगडा गर्ने र प्रतिशोधको भावना लिएर बाँच्नुपर्ने हुन्छ ।
तसर्थ भ्यालेन्टाइन डेका दिनमा प्रेम प्रस्ताव राख्न जति सजिलो छ, त्यसबाट विकसित प्रेमका सम्बन्धलाई बचाइराख्न उत्तिकै जटिल पनि छ भन्ने बुझ्न जरुरी छ । अहिले युवायुवतीलाई प्रेमको सुरुवात गर्नका लागि जसरी प्रविधिले सहयोग र सुविधा प्रदान गरेको छ, तर प्रेम सम्बन्धलाई बचाउन उत्तिकै जटिल पनि छ ।
प्रकाशित मिति: २०६७ माघ २९ ०९:२४ Kantipur Daily
अमृत भण्डारी
भ्यालेन्टाइन डे आउनुभन्दा एक महिना पहिले नै बुटवलका आशिस अधिकारीले आफूलाई मनपर्ने केटीलाई कसरी प्रस्ताव राख्ने भन्ने बारेमा निकै सोचे । साथीलाई सोधे । धेरै साथीले उनलाई मोबाइलबाट एसएमएस गरेर केटीको भावना बुझ्न सल्लाह दिए । तर उनले आँट गर्न सकेनन् । अन्ततः एक वर्षदेखि मनपराउने केटीलाई १४ फेब्रुअरीमै एसएमएस गर्ने र प्रस्ताव राख्ने मुडमा छन् उनी । हुन त उनीसँग केटीको इमेल ठेगाना पनि छ । तर उनलाई एक वर्षदेखि मनपराउने केटीलाई प्रस्ताव राख्दा सम्बन्ध बिग्रन सक्ने डर पनि छ । त्यसैले उनले न इमेल नै पठाउन सके, नत एसएमएस गर्नसके । भन्छन्- "यसो कुरा गर्दा त उसले पनि मलाई मनपराउँछे जस्तो लागेको छ, तर शतप्रतिशत विश्वस्त छैन । त्यसैले कम्तीमा भ्यालेन्टाइन डेका दिन प्रस्ताव राख्दा ऊ रिसाउने छैन भन्ने लागेको छ ।"
एसएमएस, इमेलबाट सम्पर्क गरी पहिले मनसाय बुझेर प्रेम प्रस्ताव गर्ने प्रचलन अहिले बढेर गएको छ । तर जति केटाहरू भ्यालेन्टाइन र प्रेमका बारेमा खुल्ने गरेका छन्, त्यति केटीहरु खुल्नसकेका छैनन् । यद्यपि केही वर्ष पहिलेका तुलनामा भने उनीहरू पनि विस्तारै खुल्दैछन् । केही वर्ष अगाडिसम्म सहरमा मात्र केन्दि्रत भ्यालेन्टाइन डेको संस्कृति अहिले गाउँ-गाउँमा पनि पुगेको छ । गाउँका युवायुवती पनि प्रेम प्रस्तावका लागि भ्यालेन्टाइन डेकै प्रतीक्षामा बसेको पाइन्छ ।
अर्घाखाँची वाङ्गलाका युवराज भण्डारी भन्छन्-मायाप्रेम गर्न नै जानिएन । तर सबै साथीले भ्यालेन्टाइन डेका दिनमा प्रस्ताव राख्न उपहार किन्ने, कार्ड खोज्दै हिँड्दा भने मलाई रमाइलो नै लाग्छ । वास्तवमा भ्यालेन्टाइन डे विवाह गरेका र नगरेका दुवैका लागि उत्तिकै महत्वपूर्ण बन्दै गएको छ । विवाहितहरूका लागि पनि उक्त दिनमा घुम्न जाने, माया साटासाट गर्ने अवसर बनेको छ भने प्रेम गर्नेका लागि त झन् प्रेमलाई गाढा र दिगो राख्नका लागि यो दिनलाई महत्वपूर्ण मान्न थालिएको छ । यसैगरी विवाह र प्रेममा नपरेकाका लागि नयाँ सम्बन्ध विस्तार गर्न, प्रेममा बाँधिन, मनपरेकालाई प्रस्ताव राख्न यस दिनले अवसर प्रदान गरेको छ ।
युवायुवतीले विदेसी संस्कृतिलाई रमाइलोका लागि निसंकोच अपनाउने लचकता देखाउँछन् । विश्वव्यापीकरणको युगमा संस्कृति पनि कुनै देश, क्षेत्र वा समुदायमा सीमित रहेको छैन । वास्तवमा भ्यालेन्टाइन डे मनाउने चलनले मायाप्रेम र भावनात्मक सम्बन्धको दायरालाई भूगोलले पनि सीमित राख्न सक्दैन भन्ने सन्देश पनि दिएको छ । विश्वव्यापीकरणसँगै विभिन्न देशमा मनाइने परम्परा र त्यससँग जोडिएका विषयवस्तुलाई एक ठाउँबाट अर्कोमा पुर्याउनका लागि प्रविधिको विकासले पनि सहयोग गरेको छ ।
प्रविधिले मायाप्रेमको परम्परागत प्रक्रियालाई समेत परिवर्तन गरेको छ । गाउँ-गाउँमा बाटोमा ढुकेर आफूलाई मनपर्ने साथीलाई लेखेको चिठी दिने, हुलाकबाट चिठी पठाउने र हप्तादिनसम्म उसको प्रतीक्षामा बस्ने दिनलाई सञ्चार र प्रविधिको विकासले कायापलट नै गरिदिएको छ । खल्तीमा राखेको मोबाइलबाट एक मिनटमै सन्देश प्रवाह हुने र सोधिएको प्रश्नका बारेमा तुरुन्तै जवाफ आउने भएकाले युवायुवतीका लागि प्रतीक्षामा बस्नु नपर्ने भएको छ । आफूलाई मनपरेको साथीलाई फेसबुकमा हेर्न पाइने उसको प्रोफाइलबाट उसका बारेमा जानकारी लिन पाइने साथै नचिनेको मानिसलाई पनि साथी बनाउन पाइनाले धेरै युवायुवतीका लागि प्रेम गर्न सहज भएको छ । सञ्चारले दिएको यति धेरै सुविधाको उचित फाइदा लिनु त स्वाभाविक नै हो । तर यसबाट विभिन्न किसिमका अपराध पनि भइरहेकोले युवायुवती बढी चनाखो हुनु जरुरी छ । प्रविधिलाई विवेकशील भएर अपनाउन जानेमा यसले फाइदा नै दिन्छ । तर यसको अनुचित उपयोगले अपराध बढ्न सक्छ भन्नेमा युवायुवती सजक हुनुपर्छ ।
वास्तवमा प्रेम आत्माभित्रको एक अनुभव हो । यसले मानिसको जीवनमा धेरै किसिमका परिवर्तन ल्याउन सक्छ । प्रेममा परेका मानिसका लागि सबै कुरा सम्भव भएको महसुस हुन्छ । प्रेमलाई पनि परिपक्व भएर हेर्न र सम्हाल्नसकेमा यसबाट मानिसले धेरै किसिमका फाइदा लिनसक्छ । त्यसका लागि हाम्रो सामाजिक परिवेश, संस्कृति तथा यससँग सम्बन्धित विषयमा व्यक्ति बढी नै चनाखो हुन जरुरी छ । प्रेम प्रस्ताव राख्दाका लागि एक रोमान्टिक क्षण हुनसक्छ, तर प्रेमका लागि गरिने वाचा तथा कसमलाई व्यवहारमा उतार्न निकै कठिन हुने गर्छ । प्रेम गर्नका लागि गरिने अव्यावहारिक वाचा तथा कसमले फक्रिँदो प्रेम बीचमै ओइलाउन सक्छ ।
भावनामा डुबेर गरिने वाचाको असर जीवनभर नकारात्मक पर्न सक्छ । बुझ्नुपर्ने कुरा के हो भने प्रेमी-प्रेमिका भएपछि प्रेमलाई विवाहमा परिवर्तन गर्नका लागि एकआपसका बारेमा राम्रोसँग बुझ्नुपर्छ । यसका लागि आफ्ना बारेमा झूट कुरा गरेर प्रेमको विकास गर्नु घातक हुनेछ । यसरी विकसित भएको प्रेमले अन्ततः ठूलो समस्या उत्पन्न गर्न सक्छ । र कालान्तरमा एकले अर्कोलाई आरोप लगाउने, झगडा गर्ने र प्रतिशोधको भावना लिएर बाँच्नुपर्ने हुन्छ ।
तसर्थ भ्यालेन्टाइन डेका दिनमा प्रेम प्रस्ताव राख्न जति सजिलो छ, त्यसबाट विकसित प्रेमका सम्बन्धलाई बचाइराख्न उत्तिकै जटिल पनि छ भन्ने बुझ्न जरुरी छ । अहिले युवायुवतीलाई प्रेमको सुरुवात गर्नका लागि जसरी प्रविधिले सहयोग र सुविधा प्रदान गरेको छ, तर प्रेम सम्बन्धलाई बचाउन उत्तिकै जटिल पनि छ ।
प्रकाशित मिति: २०६७ माघ २९ ०९:२४ Kantipur Daily
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Safety first---Published in Kathmandu Post Daily
JUL 18, 2010,
By AMRIT BHANDARI
Traditions have changed, cultures have assimilated, and new technology has reduced the size of the gigantic world to a small village. Embracing new technology has resulted in shifts in everyone’s behaviour and brought daily life into the public eye; however, there are a few practices people still prefer to keep private. Despite many changes in sexual behaviour in the last 50 years, the perception of having sex still remains a taboo in many of societies around the world. One of my friends who was recently married shares the problems he faces when buying condoms.
Condoms are the easiest ways to enjoy a safe and satisfying sex life. Since the dawn of the early nineteenth century, condoms have been widely in use. They are the most common and safe form of contraceptive. Notwithstanding this fact, my friend says, ”I have suffered while buying condoms. And this remains the most embarrasing moment in my life. I have to buy more stock since we are waiting to start a family till later. When there is a large crowd together in the pharmacy, I often wait before going inside. I feel nervous and hesitant to ask for condoms amidst a crowd of the people”.
This is not his problem alone. There are many more youngesters and people who feel the same way and it comes from the way society views sexual behaviour as taboo. I have also experienced this when buying condoms. Once I went in a pharmacy where there were few boys and girls where there were few boys and girls and asked for condoms. They broke into laughter and I felt embarrased. They looked at me as If I was going somewhere illegal for sex and committing a crime. If you carry condoms, people will think you are promiscuous. A married man said, “I felt paranoid, like someone and might be watching me from around the corner.” Likewise, males feel hesitant to purchase condoms if they see female shopkeepers.
Much has been done to raise awareness on using condoms—explaining the adverse effects of sexually transmitted diseases. Part of the budget has been allocated to develop advertising messages through the mass media. Trainings and workshops have been conducted in different parts of Nepal. Nevertheless, the attitude and perception remain the same. There are some who are educated and aware of the effects of unsafe sex that are still reluctant to use condoms. They explain that using condoms doesn’t allow them to get optimum satisfaction.
Nepal has gone through many changes; however, people in the educated society also have negative attitudes towards sexual behaviour. We need to be aware that this kind of negative attitude adversely affects our health. We need to think broadly and take sexual relations as a biological need of human beings. Only one mistake can destroy your life, unsafe sex can result in many diseases or unwanted pregnancy. It is therefore the safest idea to give up your shyness and buy condoms.
By AMRIT BHANDARI
Traditions have changed, cultures have assimilated, and new technology has reduced the size of the gigantic world to a small village. Embracing new technology has resulted in shifts in everyone’s behaviour and brought daily life into the public eye; however, there are a few practices people still prefer to keep private. Despite many changes in sexual behaviour in the last 50 years, the perception of having sex still remains a taboo in many of societies around the world. One of my friends who was recently married shares the problems he faces when buying condoms.
Condoms are the easiest ways to enjoy a safe and satisfying sex life. Since the dawn of the early nineteenth century, condoms have been widely in use. They are the most common and safe form of contraceptive. Notwithstanding this fact, my friend says, ”I have suffered while buying condoms. And this remains the most embarrasing moment in my life. I have to buy more stock since we are waiting to start a family till later. When there is a large crowd together in the pharmacy, I often wait before going inside. I feel nervous and hesitant to ask for condoms amidst a crowd of the people”.
This is not his problem alone. There are many more youngesters and people who feel the same way and it comes from the way society views sexual behaviour as taboo. I have also experienced this when buying condoms. Once I went in a pharmacy where there were few boys and girls where there were few boys and girls and asked for condoms. They broke into laughter and I felt embarrased. They looked at me as If I was going somewhere illegal for sex and committing a crime. If you carry condoms, people will think you are promiscuous. A married man said, “I felt paranoid, like someone and might be watching me from around the corner.” Likewise, males feel hesitant to purchase condoms if they see female shopkeepers.
Much has been done to raise awareness on using condoms—explaining the adverse effects of sexually transmitted diseases. Part of the budget has been allocated to develop advertising messages through the mass media. Trainings and workshops have been conducted in different parts of Nepal. Nevertheless, the attitude and perception remain the same. There are some who are educated and aware of the effects of unsafe sex that are still reluctant to use condoms. They explain that using condoms doesn’t allow them to get optimum satisfaction.
Nepal has gone through many changes; however, people in the educated society also have negative attitudes towards sexual behaviour. We need to be aware that this kind of negative attitude adversely affects our health. We need to think broadly and take sexual relations as a biological need of human beings. Only one mistake can destroy your life, unsafe sex can result in many diseases or unwanted pregnancy. It is therefore the safest idea to give up your shyness and buy condoms.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Lives on the line
APR 16 -
Whenever I glide through the chaotic roads of Kathmandu, the many experiences I have baffle me: unavoidable traffic jams everywhere; cows and other animals in the middle of the road; people quarreling with each other or officers to justify their violation of traffic rules, pulling up the sleeves of their shirts, ready to fight; young guys stopping their motorcycles in the centre of the road to light their next cigarette; rotten waste everywhere.
It was about 6 p.m. in Tripureswor and I was winding my way home to Kirtipur when a man on his modified motorcycle zoomed by. It swept everything along its path away with it like a storm. A lady glued to his body was, perhaps, egging him on. Speechless, I kept looking at the bike till it disappeared into the heavy traffic. How that guy managed to navigate his bike through it all still escapes me!
On the other hand, I am clueless as to how an ambulance stuck in a traffic jam, even while its siren loudly wails and its red light brightly flashes, is unable to make any progress on its way to the hospital. What must be going through the minds of the patient’s relatives at those agonising moments, I can only imagine. Are they blaming the traffic or their poor luck?
One day in the middle of the road by Ratna Park, I heard a loud siren of an ambulance approaching from behind and steered my motorcycle to the side so that it could pass. No sooner than had I moved my bike to the side, a gentleman behind me with a luxurious car overtook me followed by what seemed to be an endless stream of motorcycles. The ambulance for which I had moved out of the way remained stuck. People in an air-conditioned cars and uncaring motorcycle drivers, it seems, couldn’t even be bothered to consider the needs of those who might be fighting for their very lives inside the ambulance.
Is it just me or are city dwellers not only losing their patience, but their very humanity? Everyone seems to be in hurry to get their jobs done, nevermind if they might be hampering someone else in the process.
I read an article based on the testimony of an ambulance driver. According to the driver, most of the emergency cases they attend to are life threatening, especially when they turn on their lights and sirens. Emergency driving is very difficult. Ambulances sometimes have to violate road rules to get to the scene of an emergency quickly. These ambulance drivers really do have a tough job. Can’t we help them do their jobs effectively, and more importantly, save lives in the process, by giving up five minutes of our time on the road?
During a programme in Kantipur television last week, Rabindra Mishra, a journalist associated with BBC Nepali Service, was talking about the responsibility of each citizen to contribute towards the betterment of his or her society. The least we could do is show a little empathy towards our countrymen when they are fighting for their very survival.
abamritofficial@gmail.com
Published in Kathmandu Post on 16th April, 2010.
Whenever I glide through the chaotic roads of Kathmandu, the many experiences I have baffle me: unavoidable traffic jams everywhere; cows and other animals in the middle of the road; people quarreling with each other or officers to justify their violation of traffic rules, pulling up the sleeves of their shirts, ready to fight; young guys stopping their motorcycles in the centre of the road to light their next cigarette; rotten waste everywhere.
It was about 6 p.m. in Tripureswor and I was winding my way home to Kirtipur when a man on his modified motorcycle zoomed by. It swept everything along its path away with it like a storm. A lady glued to his body was, perhaps, egging him on. Speechless, I kept looking at the bike till it disappeared into the heavy traffic. How that guy managed to navigate his bike through it all still escapes me!
On the other hand, I am clueless as to how an ambulance stuck in a traffic jam, even while its siren loudly wails and its red light brightly flashes, is unable to make any progress on its way to the hospital. What must be going through the minds of the patient’s relatives at those agonising moments, I can only imagine. Are they blaming the traffic or their poor luck?
One day in the middle of the road by Ratna Park, I heard a loud siren of an ambulance approaching from behind and steered my motorcycle to the side so that it could pass. No sooner than had I moved my bike to the side, a gentleman behind me with a luxurious car overtook me followed by what seemed to be an endless stream of motorcycles. The ambulance for which I had moved out of the way remained stuck. People in an air-conditioned cars and uncaring motorcycle drivers, it seems, couldn’t even be bothered to consider the needs of those who might be fighting for their very lives inside the ambulance.
Is it just me or are city dwellers not only losing their patience, but their very humanity? Everyone seems to be in hurry to get their jobs done, nevermind if they might be hampering someone else in the process.
I read an article based on the testimony of an ambulance driver. According to the driver, most of the emergency cases they attend to are life threatening, especially when they turn on their lights and sirens. Emergency driving is very difficult. Ambulances sometimes have to violate road rules to get to the scene of an emergency quickly. These ambulance drivers really do have a tough job. Can’t we help them do their jobs effectively, and more importantly, save lives in the process, by giving up five minutes of our time on the road?
During a programme in Kantipur television last week, Rabindra Mishra, a journalist associated with BBC Nepali Service, was talking about the responsibility of each citizen to contribute towards the betterment of his or her society. The least we could do is show a little empathy towards our countrymen when they are fighting for their very survival.
abamritofficial@gmail.com
Published in Kathmandu Post on 16th April, 2010.
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